Monday, November 7, 2011

theKING™'s NHL Power Rankings

1. Dallas Stars (10-3-0)
They're turning heads because of a very surprising start. Looks like the sunbelt is becoming more & more of a hockey region.

2. Washington Capitals (9-3-0)
Their 7-0 start was impressive, but according to my phone, they're on a 1 game losing streak. Which is enough for me to put them outta the top spot. They also lead the league in goals per game, which is enough to use them from 3rd to 2nd.

3. Pittsburgh Penguins (9-3-3)
When you've scored 21 goals--most in the league, mind you--have a 1 game winning streak, are 9-3-3, in your 1st 15 games, it's hard not to be #3. Once Jordan Staal comes back, you should either watch out, or another good player'll get injured.

4. Toronto Maple Leafs (9-4-1)
Phil Kessel leads the league in goal & points, as long as he keeps going expect Maple domination.

5. Edmonton Oilers (8-3-2)
No team has allowed fewer goals per game then the Oilers. Wait, what? Up is officially down?

6. Chicago Blackhawks (8-3-3)
They've got the look of a deep, balanced team that'll be a threat in the Western Conference this season, I think.

7. Philadelphia Flyers (8-4-2)
It's not a good thing when you give up 9 goals to the Winnipeg Jets. At least they got a win against Carolina.

8. Buffalo Sabres (8-5-0)
Ville Leino's lack of production probably isn't what they thought he'd be doing when they gave him that contract over the summer.

9. New York Rangers (7-3-3)
The fact that I believe in them is the only reason they're ranked better then the Wild.

10. Minnesota Wild (7-3-3)
You're lucky NY Rangers, the fact that I hadn't herd of the Minnesota Wild until this year was the only reason the 2 teams weren't tied. They're both on a 4 game winning streak, both 7-3-3, but not tied. I don't think the wild is for real though. They're losing a lot.

11. Nashville Predators (7-4-2)
I'm glad I picked the Preds to be my favorite team after the Thrashers left, because Nashville looked impressive against San Jose. Smashville is very impressive this year & will challenge the Blackhawks for the Central Division all year.

12. San Jose Sharks (8-4-1)
The Sharks are doing something, but I don't know what. Just when you think they're doing something good, they drop a few. It's not like they lose to bad teams, but they're still loses, maybe they wont take the division this year, then again, the do have Phoenix to deal with.

13. Phoenix Coyotes (7-4-2)
I'd like to know who thought it was a good idea to move a hockey team from Canada, to the desert. It's not like they're a bad team, it's just no one in Phoenix cares about hockey, & because I just wrote that some random guy from Phoenix is gonna read this & comment: "I'm a proud fan of the Phoenix Coyotes & love the team. There's a lot of talk about moving to Atlanta, but I think they'll stay here! Go Coyotes!" Well that's nice & all, but Atlanta had double the fans you do & they still left. If Phoenix does leave, I hope they keep their name & logo, because it looks cool. The Coyotes are challenging the Sharks this year, but they'll come just a wee bit short.

14. Tampa Bay Lightning (7-5-2)
Tampa's picking up a few pieces after their bad start. Maybe they'll get back up to speed. I think they will, even though their stadium is called a "forum."

15. Colorado Avalanche (7-6-1)
The 'Lanche is the best faceoff team in the league. I don't know if that's gonna help them enough, though. Wait, why aren't they called the Denver Avalanche? I guess I shouldn't care, but I wish they'd change that.

16. Vancouver Canucks (7-7-1)
What the heck is a Canuck? Wait, I'm off topic. The Canucks (did I spell that right? Okay, good,) haven't been able to find any rhythm, they're gonna haveta get in a rhythm to challenge anything this year.

17. Ottawa Senators (7-7-1)
Teams that allow 3.6 goals per game don't make the playoffs, & Ottawa's that team.

18. Florida Panthers (6-4-3)
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, Florida might take out Tampa Bay as the #1 NHL team in Florida, but, they lost to Tampa already. They've had 3 strait shootout loses.

19. Los Angeles Kings (6-5-3)
What the heck is a lion holding a hockey stick with sun glasses on doing on their logo? The only thing that matters, though, is that they beat Pittsburgh, which is rare.

20. New Jersey Devils (6-5-1)
I used to love Ilya Kovalchuk, when he played for the Thrashers of course, but now he plays for the Devils & is stuck on 2 goals. If he starts scoring more, New Jersey will really own this year.

21. Detroit Red Wings (6-5-1)
Looks like hockey town USA isn't hockey town anymore. *cough* Pittsburgh *cough* A dismal 6-5-1 record shows that they're doing bad this year. What's wrong Detroit fans? You wan a burger with those french cries?

22. Calgary Flames (6-6-1)
You know, I've been predicting them to do bad since I heard of them. If flames really played hockey, they'd melt the ice, then go out in the water. That's what you get for leaving Atlanta.

23. Boston Bruins (6-7-0)
This is what you guys get for using a stupid-looking logo, & before you comment that it looks good, no, no, it's horrible. How do you beat the Maple Leafs 7-0 & have a 6-7-0 record. What are these guys doing?

24. St. Louis Blues (6-7-0)
Why do they have a note as their logo? I mean the Blackhawks logo is cooler then their's. What's the deal with St. Louis? Their baseball team wins the world series, so they start paying attention to of the worst teams in sports: the Rams & the Blues.

25. Carolina Hurricanes (5-6-3)
Not much is going right for them 'Canes. Who am I kidding, NOTHING is going right for the 'Canes. Maybe they'll wish upon a star & win 1 more.

26. Montreal Canadians (5-6-2)
Is Montreal Detroit's Canadian counterpart? Both hockey towns are doing, well, less-than-flattering. The Canadians, are 5-6-2, & their defense is showing up, but I don't know about their offense.

27. Ane-Ana-Ani-you know what, I'm not even gonna try to spell that. Ducks (5-6-3)
Randy Carlyle expressed some concern: "It was like we were standing still and they were skating. They had their skates on and we were in street shoes."

28. Winnipeg Jets (5-7-2)
The Jets have held their own on their 7 game road trip. But 5 wins isn't good enough. Go back to Atlanta.

29. New York Islanders (4-6-2)
It's sad when you're the Islanders, & the Rangers are doing better then you. I herd from an outside source that their a dynasty, not anymore.

30. Columbus Blue Jackets (2-11-1)
Who thought it was a good idea to name a team "Blue Jackets?" What are they gonna do, distract you from the game by falling off the coat rack all the time? Well, at 2-11-1 that's not working. I think they're being bad on purpose, so next year they can make a huge comeback & win the Stanely Cup? It's not natural to be this bad. Not natural man.

Come back Some time next week for some more NHL!

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